Haven’t posted in a good chunk of time, as the Christmas Season usually kills me….not that I’m really busy or anything. I am a last min person, and stress myself out by not doing anything I should, when I should.

My last post was about how I was going to make all these wonderful healthy changes in my life, which is funny since all I have been doing lately is watching Lost Seasons 1-5 and eating Candy Canes. The Second to last episode of Lost is actually playing as I type this. LOST, BTW, is freakin insane, in a good way. I watched it often, but not EVERY episode until now, so I knew the major WOA moments, but it’s the smaller connections that is making it exciting to watch. I actually watched most of Season 5 as it aired, but watching it again, now with an understanding of all the other crazy not randomness,  is exciting.

Enough of my Lost babble, my goal of finishing this before Season 6 has killed all my reading time. I had to return three unread Library books, which I am ashamed to admit.  I am reading “The Maze Runner” now which totally fits into my Lost theme right now.

I’ve been having a bit of an issue lately, a kid guessed my age at 55, either he was busting me, or kids really are not skilled at age guessing, since I still get handed Children’s menus at age 27. I went to a Mary Kay party, and was told I have to use Anti-Aging products…Maria was told she was okay to use the young people’s products but I being above 23, am a GONER. THEN a girl told me that I looked like a teenager…except for my skin, which I WANT TO PRETEND meant that I have better skin than a teen…right? That’s what she meant…do I suddenly have wrinkles? AHHHH.

So at the Party I bought some anti-aging face wash, and moisturizing cream, and something for dark circles that I fully expect will not work.

I’ve never been a product, or makeup girl, I use just what I need to get buy, foundation, blush, and lip color. I tend to buy fancy cleansers and such and never use them, so I fully except this to be the case.

Maybe if I actually start using big girl makeup and products I will no longer look 12 to the older folk (I don’t think the 10 year olds thinking I look middle age is a true testament to how I look.)

I’m debating on buying a wii/wii fit for my exercise funk I am in….or winter running gear and just force myself out of the house.

My College had a 5 year reunion a few weekends back, which I attended with some of my ol’ college buddies. While sorting through my reunion pictures I could not help but do a compare, contrast with pictures from my college days. Things have changed, I was chubby at the start of college, skinny in the middle and chubby again, so all the pictures of me are…interesting. I got rid of those very lovely bangs I was sporting Freshmen and Sophmore year o’college. I…still look 12 though.

What I do know is, I have changed so much since 2000, it’s really insane to think about. Freshmen year of college I would never have imagined I would be able to drive down to York by myself as stupid as that sounds, or that I would have been living in Albany taking the bus all over the city doing lord knows what, or living here now, working as a librarian. Freshmen year I didn’t know myself at all, I was scared and quiet. I came out of my shell in college, as cliche as that sounds, it is true. I wasn’t worried about how I looked, I wasn’t worried about who liked me, I was having fun with great people. Since graduating I have started to revert back to the old me, the self-hating,  sad Melissa, which is something I am afraid of, and am not sure how to fix. But I’m not giving up without a fight. I would like to be confident, and not always view myself as a child, or as ugly, or as fat, or as stupid. (I have some self esteem issues apparently..oops!)

York College
2000-2004:

York College 5 Year Reunion
May 2009:

Christian was trying to convince me that my shoulder pain may be because there is a ghost on my shoulder, like in a horror movie he saw. The only thing I have killed lately is a bug or two…and plants, I do kill plants. So we are now planning a Summer Blockbuster called Ghost Bug, it will be way bigger than that Harry Potter thing that is coming out, that I can promise you.

I am watching the last episode of ER, 20 mins left, I think I will be weeping soon. I grew up with this TV show. I’m getting rather annoyed with all my TV shows up and dying. 7 Years of Gilmore Girls, Only? 15 Seasons of ER? How could they end so soon, 15 Seasons is nothing. I complain, but really I have been lucky, most of  “my” shows have made it a long time running. There are some that I love that expired far too early, like Firefly of course, and Pushing Daisies (will we ever see the last episodes.)

I recently watched the Dead like me movie, not really sure how I feel about one main character not being in it, and another being played by another actress, but in general it was great to see that show come to life again.

Yesterday I went to amazon to look up cases for the iphone. I don’t have an iphone. I think I am getting closer to making that decision though, the nepa tweetup helped, I was one of the only non-iphones there, my phone won’t even let me text people back. I am just concerned that I will misplace something that expensive, as I tend to be bad at remembering where I put my cell phone.

Sorry blog, this rambling about nothing and then more nothing is usually reserved for my livejournal.

ER Over. ER over forever.

*sighs*

new Battery’s Down might help me feel less heartbroken: